go.

For you who have ripped heart,
Don't you rip others,
For who they might be,
Just go.

Leave.

cause you can.

it's okay to not be okay,
it's okay to be sad,
it's okay to be frustrated,
it's okay to fall down,

it's okay to be defeated,

but then,
stand up!
be strong!
win against your-past-seconds-self!

cause you can.

perati jari.

kau luruskan jari,
kau renung tiap satunya,
bersegi-segi permukaan kulit jari,
dengan corak tak ketahuan yang kucing opah hadiahkan,
kaler yang kejap kuning langsat, kejap coklat milo, kejap pucat kemerah jambuan,
kuku yang elok terletak di hujung jari,
ada yang bentuknya panjang, ada yang lebar, 

ada yang pendek kecik bersegi-segi sebab salah trim semalam,

ibu jari yang sedikit kuat, yang senang kau nak picit-picit bila mengurut,

jari telunjuk yang masih berfungsi menunjuk-nunjuk habuan mana kau nak bedal di pasar malam,

jari tengah yang support menyaport jirannya (acee try angkat jari telunjuk, tak pun jari manis tanpa angkat jari tengah, cemtuuu, heh.)

jari manis yang mak mentua pegang lembut waktu nak sarungkan cincin nanti, (eeeee heh.)

jari kelingking yang kecilnya mampu membantu mengimbangkan gelas minuman waktu kau minum, heh

tiada yang tak berguna.
tiada.
semuanya bersebab.
semuanya Allah bagi elok dah
cukup dah.

abaikan ketakgunaan sekeliling kejap,
perati diri sendiri,
tak terkira banyaknya kasih sayang Allah,

Maka nikmat Tuhan kamu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?

ada lagi sebab untuk bersedih hilang semangat diri?
tak da.
sedih lagi?
pi kira balik nikmat yang Allah bagi.

untuk diri yang entah apa-apa,
untuk hati yang entah berapa banyak tompok kotorannya,
Allah masih sayang,

Allahu Rahman..

Allahu Rahim

Astaghfirullah,

Allahuakbar,

Subhanallah,

Alhamdulillah.

drama lagi. heh.

sampai sekarang tertanya,
tentang diri yang masih tak puas hati,
sebab sendiri salah paham?
sebab harapan semasa bermain?

and we drifting apart,
is this the answer for my childish question?
if so, thanks.

there's a fine line between that word,
and you always win.
k. fine.

p.s/ that one deadly question, what will you do? ask or leave it?

p.s.s/ drama.dah.habis.ke.

#tired #onceAgain

"i'm done."

"yeah right... "

"why don't you believe me?"

"you yourself doesn't believe in yourself."

"i am."

"nope. those words means nothing. done for a second and you gonna repeat your mistakes. again and again."

"but, i am. this is it. no more attachment."

"prove it"

"... i'll try.."

"hah, yeahh right..."

"i will!"

evanescence of memory

at one point, the feelings, all of it will fade away.. it will

feelings,, the sadness, happiness, overwhelm,, bla3,,
at one point, after a certain period of time, everything gonna fade away,
like a painted color on a wall, gradually losing its cheery touch.

as the friend told me this, as the friend repeating this theory,
over and over,
my inner stubborn self keep on shouting
"no! it wont!"
"no! it will stay!"
"no!i wont, i cant let them go!"

you know, at that time,
that inner stubborn self had already forgot thousands happiness, thousands irritating moment..
surely the memory stay,
but reminiscing it over time,
the feelings change.. it's fading away..

the vivid rainbow had changed into a list of black and white shades.

you know..
eventually,, the sadness became happiness..
eventually.. the happiness became..well.. heart throbbing memory that you wish it shouldn't happen..
eventually.. green leaf turns yellow..

with time...

be strong,,
with time, everything gonna be fine.